Maybe I'll Bury Myself

Strange thoughts hit me
Stranger noises it make
A feel of guilt embossed
And a fell of fear arise

Some weigh kept me to ground
Now that it's absent, I'm all around
A million strangers on the path
But a blurry destination keeps me going

I think too much, which is bad
I fear too much, which kills me inside
A hand wouldn't help
Neither would a heart

I keep walking towards the end
The creep crawls up even more higher.
The blur clears, part be part
Not something I wanted

I still keep walking
No matter how sour it looks
I still keep walking,
The image may be a faulty one.

Thoughts

Thoughts are something that has a very peculiar behavior. It sometimes boosts us to levels we never thought it existed or at times it makes us realize us of what fools we really are. It sometimes gives us a reason to think of our future and smile, to jump our hearts out and even sometimes cry with a feeling of great pleasure within. But there are considerably equal times when you feel like your whole life has gone down the drain. In worst cases it makes us think of killing ourselves. This thing has such great power over us.

So, is there a remedy to this? Is there anything at all that could drive us away from such horrid thoughts? Well, there is. Think of the people you care for the most in this world. More than you could possibly care about you. This has worked for me in various conditions. Even at the worst ones. I think of that faint smile my mother gives me when she is proud of her son, and poof.... Everything disappears.

I'm just here to say that there will be times when these thoughts haunt you so bad that even the most beautiful memories would not dissolve it. It breaks you apart, makes your eyes swollen with tears and finally it starts eating you alive. And I'm still in search for a solution to that.

A story -1

A reflection:

The little girl in the mirror stares deep into her own eyes.
Just watery, not tears though.
A pink comb with its needles apart from one another.
She slowly brushes it from its roots to the tails.
Soft and slow strides.

Her pretty eyes are all she stares at.
She justifies her beauty by pulling back her hair to a bun behind.
She drops it down again.
Something seems to trouble her thoughts.
Something deep into her heart.

I just keep watching her from a distance.
A bit far away from her such that nothing suspicious is given away.
I keep admiring her despite what my heart says.
My legs are in no more under the spells of my head.
Neither are the eyes.

She shifts, she turns and looks at me.
Must be my breadth that would have given my seclusion.
She stares for a moment, no horror and no distractions and then she smiles.
All just the reflection from from the mirror.
I fear, to take that single step.
The single step that would reveal her face apart from the reflection.
Another smile and my reason eases and the ache to see her true self spikes.

I take the step.
I walk a few inches further, making sure I don't disrupt the peace.
I finally see her, she isn't the one in the reflection.
I fall short of words. I fall short of breadth.
I finally fall short of my senses and keep looking her into her eyes.

A Clear Vision

Every man has his doubts on what he does for a living. The lucky ones understand it early and just does what he really loves. A man with no clue learns to love what he does and finally the man who hates his work but still ends up doing it. Just because we love what we do, doesn't mean that we don't  doubt ourselves in the path we choose. To be honest I've had my doubts ever since I jumped into writing. Is my writing good enough for people? Will they understand it like I do? Maybe this isn't what I must be doing? Well, these are just few of the many dovts I had past few months.

But there is that special someone who makes us realize that everything we do is actually worthy. Now all I want is to write for the rest of my life and never stop at anything. If not for me, I would definitely write for you. After all, nothing much matters when you are the only person I care about. Loving every second of it!!!

OK Kanmani - Dash Reviews

Before Sunset - This was something that made me rethink what romance was all about. It was just the gestures that you showed to prove what the significant half meant to you. We just had to fill in the obvious after the end of that great walk.

OK Kanmani - This was something much more intense. 15 years after alaypayudhey, that was considered to be the best ever romantic movie ever made in kollywood had an actual rival. OK kanmani blew the minds of many who thought that the demise of Mani Rathnam's strong filmatic essence was evident.

There are very few films that could actually create a change within the trend and denying the fact that alaypayudhey achieved it is stupidity. With this movie, the trend is all set to go into a new frenzy.

Even the dullest of Mani Rathnam never actually took a dip in its direction. With oK kanmani, he just raised the bar. Excellent direction, with just the right amount of emotions. The casting couldn't have been better. The music like said is sensational. And most of all the editing, nothing like I've ever seen before in a Tamil movie. Every second of the film was essential and the editor did make it so.

The story - the never was one and that's what made me compare it with Before Sunset. This movie proved to be a highly satisfying script. And it has made writers realize that a bad guy, a joker and a pawn aren't always necessary to make something this magical.

Mani Rathnam brings out the best talents of an artist. A side that even they thought was never present within them. The performance by both leads were exemplary. Showing the right amount of passion and not exceeding it emotionally was a great plus.

A physical hero, a mental villain, an example for the truth and the end that people love - This is now the best romantic movie ever.

Testing Patience

What are family outings usually for?

Well, people do enjoy some quality time when spent with family. People lose track of time and wish it continues for a very long period. People also regret not being with them very often. People also make changes in their life style to be in a constant touch with their family after it.

Me emphasizing on the word people means just one thing. I'm not one of them. I've always been an alien and I continue to be so. But my latest trip to the Pulicat Lake was an eye opener. I took this chance to test my patience. Now that there are other significant aspects other than just family, I had to make sure the period I could survive without reverting back to that aspect. Honestly, my patience died right after my phone charger drained. So it's safe to assume that without the required connection I wouldn't survive a minute. The mental stress I felt right after 0% was just plain killing me.

On the other hand, family made me survive the stress. Brothers keeping me distracted, the elders nagging around, it stress did take a diffrent turn. But I did want myself to go back to who I was.

So, the part before my phone died was magical. It seemed like I had everything I wanted in my life to survive. The boat to the island and the pics that made me seem pretty human was intriguing. I also realized that I'm pretty good at taking pics. The lunch at the island was perfect, despite the fact that the sun was blazing. The clean beach, with not much human surroundings, that was just perfect. The saline content was the highest I've ever come across. I practically floated. Not having another set of clothes to wear didn't stop me from jumping into the water. So was it for my cousins. Neck deep in water and we wanted more of it. It really was the time when all sorrows were forgotten and all that mattered was not to drown to death.

I just wish that my phone never drains out of power the next time something like this comes up. Never would I have even thought that a simple 'oiii' would satisfy all my needs.